Starting over

Not an easy thing to do. But sometimes it must be done.

It is what I am doing now in my life. That is why for the last two months my blogs have been so sporadic. This is supposed to be an uplifting blog, to help you get through those days when you don't know if you can. So it stands to reason, when I have no inspiration to get through my day with a smile on my face, it is hard to find something happy and uplifting to blog about.

So maybe this, like all things in life, will have to undergo a change. I will still try to make it as uplifting as possible, thereby making myself feel better in the process. But maybe some days, it will just be about how I am coping with the changes I am making in my life.

Break ups, we all go through them, mostly you'd think when you are a teenager in high school, and in the fairy tale world soon after you get your degree in college you'll meet Mr/Ms Right and marry and have kids and grow old together. But real life is no fairy tale, though some people do get those fairy tale endings, most of us don't, or at least not when we think they should come.

Now I am 48 years old and starting over. A part of me doesn't understand it, for years I was convinced I had found my man. But somewhere along the way it started to slowly but inevitably fall apart. It was a slow process for me. But I am nonetheless no less surprised.

To me, when you really love someone and they ask something of you and it is within your power to give it or do it, you do. But then again, just because that power is inside of me maybe it isn't inside of them. Which is a very sad thing to think about.

But now I have to put a big part of my life, 7 years, behind me and move onward, onward and upward.

A part of me is excited, I am a cool person and I like living with me so being on my own and with no one else to worry about, that should be good. I can do things that I have wanted to do for a while, just never was able to before.

I am going to start treating myself better, maybe splurge once in a while on some really nice shoes or a purse. Shopping I heard can be a cure all. I plan on finding out.

The part that is sad, has been sad for a long time, so hopefully that part will go away soon.

There is a great big world out there, and I'm just thinking about Las Vegas right now, so much for me to explore of it and myself in an entirely different way. Not a selfish way but my way.

So I guess from here on out you will hear the brutal truth of my days, good and bad. As I start out on yet another adventure.

So whoever reads this, please send me your prayers of good wishes and success. I thank you in advance for them.