Who do you love?

Of course your first response will be either your significant other, children or parents. And those are good. But who you really need to love is yourself. And a lot of the time, that can be the hardest person to love.

When we look into a mirror at ourselves we see, magnified, our flaws. I know on my bad days - yes I still have them, I think without bad days you don't appreciate the good days as much as you should - my flaws seem to be outlined in bright red blinking neon. Whether they be physical flaws or flaws that are just on the inside. I see them blinking at me and I am sure that everyone else can see them too.

I know from experience, no one sees your flaws as bad as you do. Humans are so hard on themselves and I know that society doesn't always help. Even though they say they are changing the standards of say beauty, we still know what is considered right. And that is wrong.

Each one of us has our own beauty whether it be on the inside or the outside or both. And for us to be happy in life we have to learn to not only love the beauty but to love our flaws. Our flaws are what make us unique.

Being unique is truly a wonderful thing. We do not want a world of Stepford wives. So learn to love and embrace your uniqueness. It isn't easy I know, but go slow. Maybe take what you consider your flaws and learn to love them (or adjust if necessary, so that you can love them) one at a time.

It doesn't matter your age, if you are 15 or 75, you can and should do this. I like that saying, you can't love someone else until you love yourself. You may feel like you love someone else, but if you don't love yourself you will in some ways sabotage that relationship. Again, I know this from experience. And if you are honest with yourself, you know it too.

And the person that loves you, really loves you, should be willing to stand by you through these changes. They aren't always easy to achieve but they are so worth it.

When we truly value and love ourselves the world becomes a better place to us and those around us. It is so hard to see someone you love always beating themselves up for what they perceive as flaws. And a lot of the time what you consider a flaw and impossible to tolerate, isn't to the person that loves you. So ask them, what do you think about me regarding ________? (You fill in the blank.) I bet you will be surprised at their answer.

Loving yourself first is not selfish, it is healthy. When you love yourself you have more love to send out to those around you. Love of oneself is one of those things that the more you do the more benefits you get from it and the more those benefits flow over to your loved ones.

So take a look at your flaws, and candidly discuss them with someone, a friend, a therapist, a teacher, a guidance counselor, a priest or preacher. There are many people around that will be more than willing to help you love yourself the way you should. Take advantage of that and improve your life. We all deserve as much love as there is in this world. Do not deny yourself one iota of it.