Love is a Compromise

When we first meet the person that later becomes our love, we tend to overlook what later to us may become issues. Always in that first blush of romance everything is cute and adorable and funny. And of course, we are always on our very best behavior. Then as time passes and what we used to think of as cute, isn't anymore. And we each become a little more relaxed with this person we have fallen in love with and some of those bad habits we tried so hard to keep forever concealed seem to slip out.

Of course, some things may be deal breakers. But I seriously think that if you have come to love this person, only the very serious stuff would be deal breakers.

As we grow as couples one lesson we need to learn is how to compromise. And what is important to know that the ability to compromise is a sign of strength, not weakness. You aren't giving giving up a piece of your soul when you compromise. You are giving love to your partner.

I grew up thinking, from my mother, that men should always put the toilet seat down, just to be nice to us. I said something about that to an old boyfriend and you know what he said to me? If you put it up for me when you are done, I will put it down for you when I am done. Now that is a true form of compromise. It isn't always so tit for tat. Sometimes you may have to agree to see things their way just for the sake of peace in the home.

Remember, always, compromise is a two way street. Both, or all, of you, learning to compromise will lead to a happier time for all. Bargaining is also a part of compromising. If someone is asking something of you, do not hesitate to ask for something for yourself.

To me, the more willing you are to compromise the compromisable issues, the more loving and deeper that relationship will become. It shows that you aren't thinking only of yourself, but the other person, and that shows love. And I know that no matter how your relationship is, it can always use more love.

So tonight when you have your heart set on chicken for dinner and your significant other wants steak, think for a minute, would it really hurt to have steak this time? Or you could say, okay, steak tonight it is, but tomorrow for sure chicken, and your partner, having "gotten their way" will probably be more than willing to go along with that. And what skin is it off your nose to give your loved one what they want? None! You will most like get a big smile and a thank you and even more appreciation for this dinner than you might have if you had made the chicken.

That brings me to a big point, when someone is compromising for you, be gracious in your victory. Do not crow it from the top of the mountains, say thank you deeply and sincerely, and let it go at that. When a victory is won, how you accept it shows a great deal about yourself. We all want to be looked at in the best of light. And remember this, so when they ask for a compromise you understand that they are due it.

Giving to the other is a special way to show how connected you are, so when you give each one to the other, just think how special what you have will become.