Bullys

I remember when I was about to start high school. I was going to a new school and I didn't know anyone. I was scared. Just the spring before a girl had gotten jumped in the girl's bathroom and her long hair had been cut off. I had long hair and let me tell you I did not use the bathroom at high school til the second semester. I was so afraid.

How sad is that!?? I was never the popular kid in school. I was pretty much a non-entity. I had my friends, good friends, but we were never "the" kids to hang out with.

I saw the "in" crowd and to be honest, I wouldn't want to be in that crowd. I remember them making fun of kids less fortunate than them, of laughing when someone walked by and they weren't wearing super cool clothes. I honestly don't think that those kids really think through what they are doing. They think it is a giggle and then it is gone from their minds. But it isn't from the person they are doing it to.

When I was in 5th grade - and I am 47 years old now - I remember Mark McDonald in IL telling me a joke. He looked at me and said I'm going to tell you a joke that will flatten your chest, then he looked down and said oh I see you've already heard it. He laughed, his friends laughed and off they went. Well several years after that, about 11 if I recall correctly, I met Mark in a bar in WI. I knew right off who he was. I approached him and of course he had zero recollection of who I was. I told him that he had hurt my feelings in 5th grade. I told him what he had said and done and being an adult now of course he apologized and even bought me a drink to say sorry. Now, I didn't give him a hard time about it. But I am using that as a demonstration of how something that was nothing to him, truly scarred me.

I made a deep and serious point to my children about bullying. My daughter was the popular one in high school, lucky her, but I never let her hurt someone else with her words just because she could. She had been teased when she was younger and I reminded her of that. She remember the hurt and she stopped doing it to others.

I am talking from the teasee's point of view and it is not pleasant. Brings back painful memories, even now many, many years later.

My main point here is that no one is alike, each one of us from birth to death is unique and special and good in their own way and just because it is different from yours does not make it laughable or funny. Each and everyone of us has something we could be teased about, the truly good people appreciate each other for those differences.

So please if you are a teenager reading this, please think before you speak. Think about how you would feel if you were in that other person's place. You don't have to be their best friend, but you don't have to be cruel either. And if you are the lucky one and is "Most Popular" in your school, put forth the good inside of yourself and encourage it in others. If you are a parent, talk to your kids about bullying. It has become an epidemic that leads to very sad endings.

Bullying is a life long pain for those who are bullied. The bully just does it and then usually doesn't even think again about the pain they had caused. But know when you say or do mean and humiliating and hurtful things, you are damaging someone. That is NOT cool!