10 Years from Now

Okay, again I got this from a very odd place. The VH1 show called You're Cut Off. It is a silly show, but one of the people said something on it that really made sense. She said - 10 years from now people won't remember what you look like, but they'll remember how you treated them.

And for as shallow as some of those women appear, that was a very smart comment.

I have always believed in treating people how you want to be treated. And watching my mouth and not saying hurtful things just because I am angry. That came from my pre-cana class I talked about earlier.

As an example, when I was in the fifth grade Mark McDonald, a fellow 5th grader, said to me "I'm going to tell you a joke that will flatten your chest, then he looked down and said Oh I see you've already heard it." Of course making the knowledge that I had no breasts whatsoever yet, even more apparent to all within hearing distance. To this day it stings.

But, seriously, when I was 22 I ran into him in a bar in Wisconsin and I recognized him. He didn't recognize me at all, but I walked up to him and I said to him "You hurt my feelings." Of course he looked at me like I was nuts, but then I reminded him of my name and that we went to 5th grade together and what he said and how it still affected me. Of course, now he is a mature man and he apologized and even bought me a drink.

But the point of that story is something so trivial to him, was a Huge issue to me and I did remember it more than 10 years later.

I would just like to offer this bit of advice, don't think of the right here and now. Before you speak think down the road, how will I be remembered? Do you want to be remembered as a mean and spiteful person? Do you want the stories told at your 10 year high school reunion to come back to you as something hurtful?

I know 5th graders rarely think before they speak, but if we teach our children the importance of that, things will go much better for them. And if you are the type of person that just shoots off at the mouth, not caring who you hurt, think of this:

Down the road you hit a hard time, so you go to those you think are your friends, but you were mean to them, not meaning to, of course it was all a joke. But to them it wasn't, it was painful. Now you need them and instead of remembering what good you had done for them, the hurtful memories are usually in the forefront of their minds and they could very well turn away from you.

Friends are so important, for so many reasons, emotional support, a sounding board, a hug, a place to stay, the list can go on and on. So start now setting the foundation so you will be remember in only the most positive of ways.

And if you have felt like you might have burned some bridges in the past, there is time to rebuild them. Go back to that person and apologize and begin a fresh new way with them. Have their back and let them know it and I can almost guarantee that if (and usually when) the time comes you need them, they'll be there for you.

Please understand who you are today will always be with you and think hard on how you want to be looked at now and in the future. It is all up to you.