It has been a while my old friends

6 months it has been. And a lot has gone on in my life and 99.9% of it has been (and will continue to be) wonderful!

When I started this blog I was using it as a place to vent, to mentally work out the issues that I was having, and to get what was inside of me out.

Now I have the yen to write again. But for different reasons this time. I am very happy and sometimes feel like if I don't let some of this goodness out of me I'll explode and the room will be covered in happy, sunshiney goo.

So let's get the bad stuff out of the way first. The .1%.

There are days, or rather nights, when I miss being held as I fall asleep. But when I wake up the next morning, all is well. I don't have someone elses alarm waking me up before I am ready and I don't have to worry about waking someone else up when I do get up. So I wake up with a smile and all is right with my world.

Then there are days and nights when I miss my kids like absolutely crazy. Those are the hardest days and nights. Then I talk to them and they reassure me that I am a good mom (boy, have I got them fooled! lol) and they love me and they know I love them and all is right. (Side note: I have the absolute most wonderful children in the whole wide world, and no I'm not biased!)

And in that .1% was a very good friend that did me wrong. But she isn't worth the time it would take to type the story. Let's just say I got schooled on this person and got smart and she is no longer a part of my life, nor will she ever be again. And that is SO her loss.

So, 99.9% of the days are like today. I wake up smiling and feeling that all is right with my world and I feel so blessed in so many ways.

So what has been going on the past months?? I'll highlight them first, then explain in detail further on down.

First and probably most important I'm off those anti-depressants!Then I have joined a foodie group called Chef's Table. And the best part ever is I have started running in the mornings and have become totally addicted to endorphins.

About the anti-depressants, I started them again about 6 years ago, not because I felt I needed them but because someone else did. And I know that a person on the outside looking in may have more information to go on based on my actions and moods, but this one didn't. But I loved him so I did as he asked. In February I asked my therapist about stopping the zoloft and xanax. When I explained the reason I took them, he agreed with me. So he weaned me off and my last therapist's appointment was in March and I have not looked back. Of course I was hyper-vigilant about my moods and how I felt, and I was worried that maybe I would need my meds. I had started walking around my neighborhood for exercise for 50 minutes a day, 5 days a week. The exercise, combined with being out in the sunshine, is the best drug ever! And as time passed I knew that zoloft would never be in my system again.

Then in June I started adding some running to my walking. I'd say I am now at 65% running and 35% walking. I get up 5 days a week at 6:30 a.m. and roll out of bed, put my shorts and running shoes on and off I go. When I get home I am hot, sweaty and exhilarated! I can see the difference in my body. I have lost a lot of weight (not all I want too, I like eating too much! lol) and I feel just right. (For those of you who have been or are on anti-depressants you'll understand what I mean and how important that is.) My whole day is marked by that run. Yesterday I had a slight injury - my piriformis muscle was acting like a sciatic nerve. And I couldn't run yesterday or today. I did walk, but it so is not the same. I can feel the difference. But I'd rather baby my piriformis muscle for a couple of days, than not be able to run for weeks. But tomorrow I have to run! I need my addiction of endorphins to be fed. lol

My Chef's Table group is wonderful. I found it on meetup.com when I was looking for a writing group. With this group we have wonderful themed potlucks or go to different restaurants. This Saturday is a tapa's party. Tapa is Spanish for appetizers. I love the potlucks the best because I can try so many different foods. It is like a free buffet! But the most important part of the Chef's Table are the people. All ages and types but all so wonderful and kind. Verna, the ring leader of our group, is like a surrogate mom to me.

I have gone on a few dates, but no one has made me want to invite them into my life all the way.

Which is probably why I am writing in my blog again. Not to work through issues this time, but to let others know that being single is wonderful and no one absolutely needs a partner in life to have a fun, happy, exciting and successful life. I have found that I am my own best company. I don't get on my nerves, I don't expect too much from me and I never fail myself. I am very good to myself, I treat myself well and I am very happy with who I am.

So I am not going to stress about not having a man in my life. I look at my life how it is and don't see how another person, at this point in time, will add to what I need or want.

Do I believe that one day Mr. Right will come along. Sure I do. But am I holding my breath and feeling desperate? Not at all!