Stop and Think

So many times do I have to say this to my boyfriend. We have been together 7 years, and the majority of them have been super wonderful, but as all couples we have our ups and downs. One thing that he continues to do no matter how many times I bring it to his attention is he says something or does something without thinking first.

I know we are all guilty of this, but some more than others. I know that if I have to say something to my boyfriend that he possibly won't be happy about, I say it to myself several different ways so that when it comes out of my mouth I am sure I am saying it in the most kind and effective way. I stop and really think about what I am going to say.

I know it is specially hard when you are angry. But that is when it is most important to stop and think. You can say something you don't mean, but even if you didn't mean it, what you said could cause serious damage.

It kills me to be in the grocery store and hear a mother tell a child how stupid they are for, say knocking something over. I am sure the mother doesn't truly think her child is stupid, but she is upset and embarrassed and she says something that can be eternally damaging to her child.

And there are those people who do it 'all in the name of fun.' We all remember wedgies, funny to those seeing it, humiliating to the one receiving it. I know, that person will never forget that humiliation. You can truly damage a person by 'having fun' that way. So before you do something 'funny' stop and think, will they think this is funny?

It is up to us as adults to teach our younger generation what is necessary for them to grow to successful and happy individuals. If a person is happy with themselves, the chances are less likely they will feel it necessary to make someone feel less than they are to make themselves feel better.

Lavish good, positive attention on our younger generation. When you see a young person doing good. Make a point to point it out to them and others around them.

I am from the school - praise good behavior and try and ignore negative behavior. If a person learns they get good feedback when they've done well, and really no one notices when they haven't, the chances are they'll do more good to get attention. Some people need and want attention and they don't care if it is good or bad, they just want to be noticed. If they find they are being noticed for good deeds and bad deeds go unremarked, they will do more good than bad.

This training starts very young. Babies learn it, and it continues onto til when we die. We never stop learning and we never stop teaching.

So before you say or do something - stop and think - will this get me praise or will this get me ignored, or even in trouble? Please take the time with our youth, not just your children or grandchildren, but all of them. I am not above scolding a child in a store who is being disrespectful to their parent. The parent may not like it, but if they aren't going to put their foot down, then I will.

Stopping and thinking before you speak or act can often save you from heartache. It is a learned trait, it has to be practiced, so please practice it and incorporate stopping and thinking in your moment to moment life.