Living Our Life

I watched a very interesting and good movie yesterday. It was “Their Eyes were Watching God.” It starred Halle Barry. When I read the back it said it was about a woman finding out about living her life and finding love.

I am sure I can honestly say that is what we all want, to live our lives and to have them filled with love. It started with her at 17 married off to a much older man, then she left the older man for another man, one who promised her the moon. Well, he did give her everything, but to keep the peace she had to accept what he gave her, which was not necessarily what she needed or truly wanted. He just gave her what he thought every woman wanted, lots of possessions. And in return, she had to give him her total obedience and over a period of 20 years she truly and completely lost herself. Then he became sick and died and for once she was truly free. Then one day a younger man came into town and the two of them fell into love. A real love. He loved her for who she was and her laughter, not that she had money and she loved him for what he really was and didn’t ask for the moon because she knew he couldn’t afford it. But they did have real love. She left everyone and everything behind and went with him. That isn’t the moral of the story. The moral of the story is that because he truly loved her he allowed her to be her real self. Carefree and happy and outgoing and he taught her more about herself than anyone else because he gave her the freedom she needed to learn about herself. That just proves to me that life lessons can come from anywhere. It had a sad ending, the man she loved died and she had to go back to where she was from, but at the end of the movie she said that the whole time she was gone she was living her life and that even with the hardships she suffered, she wouldn’t go back to change anything they had been through, that she had learned who she was and she was happy, even though her lover was gone, she was happy with who she was.

The movie was set in maybe the 1940’s and of course they had a totally different view of women at that time. Thank heavens the majority of the men are no longer like that. But I have found that women are still a lot like that, they feel to be fulfilled they have to give up themselves to everyone around them to find happiness.

That is so far from the truth. I am learning, more everyday, that the more I learn about my life and how to live it to please me; I am pleasing a lot more people around me. When I take pleasure in my day to day living, it seems to rub off on others too. I am finding that on this journey of self-empowerment I really am helping more than just myself. It did sound so selfish in the beginning, It’s All About Me, but I have discovered it is a good thing to have All About Me moments. The more comfortable and happy I am with myself; the more it shines through me and infects others.

I wish I had learned this years ago. Maybe with this blog someone can learn it earlier than I did. Maybe this will help set others on the path to self-empowerment. I don’t know, I can only hope that my learning will encourage someone who needs to, find the courage to say – Yes, it is all about me. And I hope that person’s family and friends understand that it doesn’t happen overnight and that yes while they will have to be selfish and say no to you sometimes, you will give it chance and not fight them on this. In the long run, you will find that you will benefit too. We may start out this journey feeling wrong and selfish, but please stick it out, the benefits in the long run so out weigh the short term inconveniences.