Listening with the Heart

No where in my science classes was I told that the heart is a listening device. Our ears are. But I have learned in my time upon this earth that just listening with your ears can be insufficient. There are times when your heart needs to become involved.

In talks about the weather and sports and the usual day to day stuff, listening with your ears is usually more than enough. We sort through all that we hear and file away the important stuff and some of it we let fall through to that place that thoughts that aren't crucial fall to.

But sometimes you have to listen with your heart. Sometimes someone will say something to you and if your heart isn't open to that, you might very well miss something of priority, something of great importance.

I know that each of us has our own issues to deal with, but sometimes someone comes to you and needs more than your ears. They need the compassion of listening with the heart. A friend comes to you, hurting because of something wrong with a relationship. You listen to them, with your heart, and you are then able to offer them what they need. If we listen hard enough with our heart we will know if they need words of wisdom or just words of comfort. Sometimes all they need is to vent. Being there for them so they can purge is a monumental chore. We want to offer help, information, suggestions, but if you listen closely to what they are saying, with your heart, you will be more apt to be understanding of what exactly they need.

The people who listen with their hearts and can offer what is truly needed by the other person, not what they think the other person needs, but what that person really does need. That is truly listening with your heart and it will accomplish so much more.

When people come together to discuss issues, of course our first instinct is to defend ourselves. But you know, sometimes if we listen with our heart we will discover that there is no need to defend ourselves. If we listen with our heart we will know that other person just needs to get those issues of their chest, and get reassurance from you that they have been heard. They don't necessarily want you to solve the world for them, they just need a sounding board. Sometimes just hearing out loud from their own hearts they can come to their own conclusions. You will be amazed, they will be chatting along, and light bulbs will go off in their minds and they will solve the issue they needed solved all by themselves and they will thank you profusely. And you may have done nothing more than listen with your heart.

Jumping to defend oneself is usually a very bad first step. Specially if the other person is still speaking. If you listen with your heart you may very well hear the truth of the matter, they are not attacking you, they are voicing concerns with themselves usually. Maybe they are feeling more needy than usual and they aren't saying you don't fulfill any needs at all, but right now they need different needs filled in a different manner.

It is hard to listen, specially when you are feeling attacked. Not many people are very good communicators. We don't know how to put into words, either verbal or written, exactly what it is we need and why we need it.

Patience is so important. If you open the line from your ears to your heart I bet you will hear so much more than the thoughts in your head that are telling you that you are failing somehow. It usually isn't that you are failing, it is just that there has been a miscommunication and what the other person needs, needs to be shown in a different manner than what you think they are asking for.

I hope this isn't too confusing. Basically it all boils down to this: When someone approaches you upset, or you see someone upset and you want to know why, don't jump to the conclusion its all against you. It could very well be against themselves. If you listen with your heart then you will be more able to hear and understand what is needed from you.

I know some people find it hard to be needed, but if you are in a relationship, it is inevitable, if a person loves you, they need you.