How to make love

I had named this How to make love to a woman, but I realized later this would hold true for both sexes, expect maybe instead of flowers a hot rod magazine.

I spent some time thinking, did I want to really write about this? Then I said yes I do. This isn't going to be a cosmo article, it just might be an A B C manual.

They say that the best sex organ is the brain. I disagree, I think it is the heart. To truly touch someone in an intimate manner you have to go through their heart first. Even if you are just meeting someone and you have an interest, don't just reach out with your hand, reach out with your heart. It can be scary, but for it to always be real, it has to start real.

After you've been with someone for awhile, if you began with listening to their heart, chances are you are leaps ahead of the pack. Just remember to always listen to their heart.

Each woman is different, but also quite the same. When we are young, yes we don't always listen with or to our hearts, we listen to those hormones raging through our bodies. But as we get older, or rather as I get older, I find that I want a man to want me for who I really am and is willing to find out what that is. And since we have yet to master the art of reading the mind, I have decided to lay it flat out.

I want my man to think about what would please me, not just in the bedroom, but outside of it. If he is thinking with his heart, he would know that a flower is a very good start. It doesn't have to be a dozen long stem red roses, just picked wildflowers mean so much more. I had been gone visiting friends in MI and when I got home, on the stove there was a small bunch of wildflowers, yes even in the desert we have wildflowers, that he picked for me, he thought I'd like them, and I did. That touched my heart. Find out what your woman likes, it could be chocolate, you don't have to buy a whole box, just buy her, her favorite candy bar - this is something you should know. To know her heart you need to know her likes and dislikes of just about everything. You may say oh my that sounds like too much, but if you listen with your heart, you will know these things. I used to keep a notebook and when I overheard something they liked or disliked I'd write it down. After a time you won't need that notebook, but it is a good place to start.

The next step is to go from the heart to the body, and that most important part then is the hand. Hold my hand, sit next to me and touch me gently and softly. Look at me when I talk to you, and listen to what I say, no matter how silly.

After we have a physical connection through our hands, let's move on to putting your arm around me, hold me close to you when we are sitting on the couch watching TV or a movie. Snuggle me in bed, find out about the nook, it is an awesome place. Take every chance to hold me, hold me, not smother me - there is a difference. Without words you are telling me I am important to you. Just a casual brush of the shoulder with your hand as you walk by tells me that.

To truly make love to a woman really doesn't have much to do with sex. What!?! you are saying, but it is true. Sex and love aren't always connected. You can have great sex with no love, and you can have great love with no sex. As we get older our bodies don't always physically jump to our command. We need to go slower and make love, not just have sex. Cuddling and touching and talking is the best way to start making love. Reach out and touch your lover's heart, take the time to learn what they like, and you'll be amazed at really how simple those things are.

But when you love someone, it is worth the effort in the long run. If you plan on a long term relationship, and that is what most of us want, find out.

Each relationship is different, most of us can say we've had more than one. But that isn't the goal, to see how many we can have, it is to make the one we have the best it can possibly be.

Be thoughtful of each other, learn about each other, spend quality time together, whether that be walking the dog together or having coffee, find out what is unique to you both and go with that. People, specially in these days and times, tend to look out for Number One - themselves, but if they make their significant other their Number One, then they will be Number One but to their significant other. You will find out that is so much better.

Now you are probably saying, but what about your self-empowerment??? This is about my self-empowerment, I feel that I am at the point in my journey that I can start to open up and extend myself. This blog is a way I do that too. To be self-empowered and strong within myself is my goal, but I also want love. Love is a big part of happiness and self-empowerment. First love yourself, then you can branch out to others.

Making love is a big deal, when you've got it mastered outside of the bedroom, I know it will be wonderful behind closed doors (or wherever you like to do it!).

P.S. Please feel free to copy the the address from the browser bar and send it to anyone you feel you'd like to have it or may benefit from it.