Trust

Trust, one simple word, easy to spell and easy to kill.

Trust in relationships is a vital thing. Everybody knows that, so why do people break trust with their loved ones? I am of the belief that no matter what we do, if we betray someone's trust and we think that they won't find out, we are sadly mistaken. It will eventually come out.

One of my biggest pet peeves is saying that you will do something then not doing it. Why say you will do it if you either don't want to or can't? Either way you only make an argument. If you are honest and say no in the first part, yeah they may be upset for a bit, but if you say yes you are going to do something, fully knowing you aren't. That just sets the ground for a full out argument and a chipping at the trust that person has in you.

People need to trust you when you say things. How can someone truly love and belong in a relationship if they can't trust you? It isn't fair to just 'blow smoke' as they say.

I know this may sound like it isn't about self-empowerment, but it is. Before I started down this path someone would say to me, oh yeah I'll do that and then they wouldn't and I would just let it slid. I basically would let them trample my trust in them and what is worse is that allows them to think that it was okay, it wasn't really an important thing. But if you let them get away with the little stuff, the little stuff won't be so little for long.

We need to find our backbone and stand up for ourselves and say that is not right, we deserve better than that. I always felt like it was an adult patting a child on the head and saying, it too hard for you to understand. Well, I am no longer a child, I am an adult and maybe I don't understand quantum physics, but I do understand a promise.

A promise is a gift of trust. I promise to do so and so - and the other person trusts you to do that. When you don't you damage the trust in your relationships. Not just spousal, etc. relationships, but it can damage your friendships too. When a person feels they can't trust you to keep your word anymore, something huge is missing from that relationship.

Trust, according to Webster means: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

So when you shatter the trust with someone you also shatter your character, the person you essentially are. Do you want to go through life with people feeling you have no character, that you have no substance?

To me trust breaks down to this, when you say you are going to do something - whether it is saying to be faithful during a wedding vow, or that you will stop and get milk on the way home, do so. Each and every promise made is very important, no matter how small or large and especially those in between.

You start off breaking one little promise, and you think oh well, not a big deal, and nothing happens from that so it happens again, you break another promise, and gradually they start adding up and before you know it you have shattered the trust of that person. You won't see it coming if you don't watch out for it.

That is why, no matter what it is, it is crucial to keep your word, and if you find you can't, go to that person and explain, beforehand, why you can't. Being honest is what helps build trust.

Like they say, honesty is the best policy. Trust is vital in any relationship you may have, home, work, school, friends. Do not ruin those relationships by becoming untrustworthy.

And if you are untrustworthy now, I believe that there is hope and you can reverse it and become a trusted person again, it is as simple as keeping your word and doing as you say you will. You will have to make a conscious effort to always follow through on what you say you will do.

If you shatter the trust in your relationships too many times, the other people may have to leave your circle. You don't want that. All of us need more friends, not less.