Believe

To believe is to keep an expectation alive. When I read that I wrote it in my notebook. I find keeping a notebook handy when I read, no matter what it is, is a smart idea. Like I've said before I've found words of wisdom in some strange places.

I was flipping through my notebook and came across that phrase and it stuck out to me. I never really thought of that. Its like having faith, you need that to move forward with your life. If we didn't have faith, if we didn't believe, we would be just floating around with no goals or ambitions.

What I mean by that is if we stop believing that we can have, deserve, or will find what we need to be happy in life, depression will over take you. I know, I've been there. More than once. But I somehow found myself back to believing. We will get to a point of its either sink or swim. I've sank before and I know I never want to do that again. Like now in my life, I am back to believing that I do deserve what I need and want to be happy. What has changed is that instead of looking outside of myself for those things I am looking inward. So many people have told me how strong a person I am. My answer to that used to be 'yeah right.' But now it 'YEAH RIGHT' I am. By reaching inside of myself and grasping at that strength, even though the first grasp may only be a finger hold, I didn't let go. I believed that I deserved more and I became determined to not let go of that strength no matter the outside influences that may be against me. Those influences could be work, relationships, money, the list can go on and on. Know those are OUTSIDE influences, and you have touched the strength within yourself and NO ONE can take that away from you.

We all go through periods in our life where we feel that nothing is going right, that nothing will ever go right again. It is at that point we have to reach deep down within ourselves and pull out the reserves. I know, from past experience, that we all have them. Do not let anyone else, specially yourself tell you that you don't. At the beginning it is harder to find, you need to dig through rock and stone before you get to the sand - and you know digging sand is so hard, you take some out and some falls back in the hole. But with determination and perseverance you will hit the damp dirt level. At the damp dirt level you will find that with each shovel full you will make progress. For every shovel you remove, you will find that the sunshine can reach you more easily. Then suddenly you are blinded by the sun shining in your life. But blinded in a good way, it blinds you to the oppositions in your life, and it will light the path that will lead you forward to your path of peace and happiness and goodness.

So while you are digging, looking for your path, if you believe, you will keep the expectation of success alive and by doing that you will become more determined and more able to do for yourself what you need to do to reach your nirvana.